Posted on June 17, 2010  ·   Posted By Ray Wray Kowalczyk      

The Real Housewives of New York:  The Movie

I’ve been a loyal watcher of Real Housewives of New York City for three seasons now. After watching part two of the three part reunion , (Really Bravo? Why not just have a giant three hour block—why drag this thing out in parts? I’d prefer a marathon over this…) I asked myself, “What if Housewives was a movie? Who could play the part of each housewife?”

Jill Zarin: Gina Gershon

Jill Zarin Gina Gershon

Though some might argue Jill doesn’t have the Gina-looks, I disagree. She is fashion forward and savvy in her own Jewish way. I thought of Gina for this part, inspired by her role in Curb Your Enthusiasm as a Hasidic dry cleaner. I think she would be able to tackle Jill’s accent perfectly.


Bethenny Frankel: Angelina Jolie

Bethenny Frankel Angelina Jolie

I had to pick a fantastic actress for my favorite housewife. Bethenny was an outcast for much of the beginning of the show, as she was younger than the other women and the only not-really-a-housewife. But her character is much more complicated than this, as she’s a calculated business woman. Angelina would be able to provide strength and sass in this role, especially as she transitions into REAL housewife-ism and motherhood.


Alex McCord: Téa Leoni

Alex McCord Téa Leoni

Alex has a kind of understated beauty and understated personality. This is why many viewers have been reeling this season, when Alex has finally lost her temper. Tea Leoni would be able to make this transition nicely.


Ramona Singer: Cameron Diaz

Ramona Singer Cameron Diaz

Ramona DID say this season that she thought her new hairdo turned her into a young Cameron Diaz. Jill might have rolled her eyes, but I think this could be a good recast. Cameron is younger than the most of the other actresses, and she would be able to bring Ramona’s energy, unpredictability, and good looks to the movie.


LuAnn De Lesseps: Juliette Binoche

LuAnne De Lesseps Juliette Binoche

Maybe I just thought of her because I watched The English Patient episode of Seinfeld last night. I think Juliette could bring the kind of class and elegance to the role of the Countess.


Kelly Bensimon: Mary-Louise Parker

Kelly Bensimon Mary-Louise Parker

The role of Kelly might be the most difficult one to play. Kelly possesses a strange level of naïveté smushed with derangement. I’ve recently finished the first two seasons of Weeds, and I think Mary-Louise’s model looks and big doe-eyes would definitely help her enter a room with a loud “HAIIIIII!”


Sonja Morgan: Young Glenn Close

Sonja Morgan Young Glenn Close

I struggled with this one—the newest housewife. Sonja is a sophisticated and sexy divorcee. I can only think of Glenn Close twenty years ago–we’re talking Dangerous Liasons and Fatal Attraction. If you don’t think Glenn Close can be in tune with her sexuality, you have not seen these movies. Let’s just erase the “dangerous” and “fatal” though. Real Housewives of NYC should never become violent! Save that for Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Yuck Yuck!)


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  1. I see Joy Behar playing bitchy Jill, Courtney Cox playing Bethenny, Sela Ward as LuAnn, Goldie Hawn as Ramona, Marisa Tomei as Kelly, Nicole Kidman as Alex and Kim Catrall as Sonja.

    I run a blog about the Real Housewives psychological problems on wordpress so you could say I have studied them a bunch LOL.

  2. Yea for your recast!!! I especially like your idea of Marisa Tomei as Kelly. Let’s give her a giant bag of gummy bears!

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